call me poison ivy ('cause i'm far from good) - I

Aspen looks at Nate. 'You—you can—the bed is fine,' he breathes. He wants him close. It's been too long since they were really close.

Nate nods, smiles reassuringly, his hand hot on Aspen's cheek. 'Go,' he says. 'I'll be in in a minute.'

Aspen gives him a thankful smile, nods, and then turns towards Austyn. He takes a step towards her and gives her a hug, holding her close, whispering a quiet 'I love you' in her ear.

Austyn doesn't reply, just hugs back and lets go, kissing his cheek with a soft smile and watery eyes. Today, she can cry, she told herself. Tomorrow, she has to go on.

Aspen rubs his thumb over her cheek, like he used to do before she left. Just a quiet, small gesture, one he didn't expect to do again. "Sleep tight." He kisses her forehead and then retreats to the bedroom, the sheets looking way too welcoming to his liking.

Austyn nods, again and again and again, even when the door to his bedroom has already closed and she's alone. She stops when Nate enters the room with blankets and two pillows. They look so comfortable Austyn could cry.
'Thank you,' she says, voice quiet. She doesn't like Nate. She doesn't know him.
'No problem. Just yell if you need anything.' He smiles reassuringly.
It doesn't seem that reassuring to her.

Aspen undresses himself and gets clean boxers and sweatpants out of his drawer. He's tired, he's exhausted, but his mind just can't get quiet. He keeps seeing Austyn's watery eyes, her faded smile, her fragile body—she's not like he remembers her and he'd very much like to know what the fuck happened to her—who did that to her. 
He sits down on the bed and rubs his eyes. Finally he gives in and just sobs, silently. The last time he cried was when she left.

'What about them?' she asks, voice soft. She leans against Wyatt, his skin hot against hers, grass tickling her bare legs. They're picnicking, and Wyatt always liked watching people; making up stories about them. She—she just liked to listen.
'That man is her father's best friend,' he says, pointing at a girl in her twenties and a man in his mid-thirties. They walk slowly, hands close but not touching. 'She's falling in love with him. They're going to go somewhere, later.'
'Does she want to?' she asks.
Wyatt grins. 'She simply cannot resist that tie, honey.'

Nate enters the bedroom and sits down next to Aspen. 'Jesus,' he mutters. 'That's—that's intense.'

Aspen shakes his head, silently. "She's—she's messed up. I've never seen her like this before. Ever." He sounds strangled, like someone is tightening a rope around his neck. It feels like that. He forgot how it is like to feel that.

'C'mon—' Nate says. 'C'mon, let's—' He pulls him softly.

Aspen finally leans into him, resting his head on Nate's shoulder. "God, I should've called you earlier," he sighs, closing his eyes.

'Regrets are for later,' Nate says, kissing Aspen's forehead.

Aspen smiles a little. "I'm glad you're here," he whispers, fingers pressing into Nate's tigh like it's his only handhold. "I'm so glad you're here."

Nate nods, exhale fresh on his lips as he kisses him, uncaring if it's the right time or the wrong time or the worst time, long fingers finding the hair at the nape of Aspen's neck.

Aspen wants to pull away at first, because he knows he'll regret it, because he knows this is what destroyed what he had with Molly, but he can't, he can't—
He kisses back as if Nate is the last oxygen on earth, fingers pulling at his shirt, touches burning skin.

Nate knows he loves Aspen more than Aspen loves him, knows that where Aspen would be his universe, he would be his moon. Maybe the sun, on a good day. He doesn't care.

Aspen melts into Nate, feeling crippled, feeling breathless. His fingers press against his chest, and he wants more, he wants what he missed for weeks. "I missed you," he whispers against Nate's lips.

'I missed you too,' Nate says, and it's true, it's true. His trembling hands find the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head, Aspen's breath hot on his skin.

Aspen stares, gazes, fingers trailing over Nate's chest, before he pulls him in closer again, kissing him hard, needy. He needs this, this thing he never had with anyone but Nate, ever.

Nate moans quietly, hands on Aspen's chest, climbing over him until he's in his lap, never breaking the kiss.

Aspen gets even more passionate when Nate moans, the sound rushing jolts through his body, setting him on fire. He presses his fingers into Nate's back, breathing heavily, heart racing.

Nate whimpers, grinding down in Aspen's lap, breathing heavily. 'Fuck, I—'

Aspen catches his breath, then presses his lips against Nate's neck. He missed this—he needed this. Sometimes he forgets how much he loves Nate—and then when he's together with him again, it hits him hard in the face.

Nate doesn't know how it happened, but they're naked some time after and under covers. It feels familiar; the feel of Aspen's skin against his, ragged breathing going back and forth between their busy mouths.

Aspen is tired—more like he's exhausted. He's sure it's around 5AM already, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care, because he's with Nate and everything is alright, for now at least.

Austyn can't sleep, listens to the noises from the house without identifying them, thinks about Wyatt, about how he kissed her every night before going to bed, about how he bought her a new dress every first Thursday of the month.

Aspen wakes up hours later and rolls to the side, only to find Nate sleeping next to him. It takes some time for him to realize what happened last night—all of it, that is.
He stretches himself and sits up straight, sheets pooling in his lap. He yawns, runs a hand through his hair.

Nate mumbles incoherently, pulling the sheets tighter around his naked body. '...back to sleep,' he announces, turning his back to Aspen. 'Too early.'

Aspen looks at sleeping Nate, smiling absentmindedly. He's wide awake now, though. It's around ten in the morning—and it's still raining as hard as tonight. 
He sinks back into the pillows, his hands searching for Nate as he closes his eyes, silently creeping closer to him.

Nate shivers.
In the livingroom, Austyn dreams about Wyatt, about hating eskimo kisses and the tree in the backyard with the battered swing.

Aspen closes his arms around Nate and snuggles against his warm back. Damn, he missed this.

Nate cuddles closer to Aspen, not knowing how long the boy will allow them to be like this—almost happy.

Aspen thinks about Molly, and how she'd push him away when he wanted to spoon her. He thinks about Nate and how the boy seems to love him more than himself. He thinks about how guilty he feels for making a mess of whatever he had.
He thinks about Austyn and how destroyed she seems to be and suddenly there's another lump in his throat, and he swallows hard to make the tears go away.

Nate sleeps. Austyn wakes.

Aspen silently sits up again and grabs his boxers. He leaves the room wearing Nate's shirt and a pair of sweatpants and closes the door behind him.
In the kitchen he turns on the coffeemaker and yawns again, running a hand through his messy hair.

Austyn is sitting on the livingroom couch, dressed in jeans a tad too wide and a brown sweater she almost seems to drown in. Her hair is pulled back neatly in a tight bun at the back of her head, hollowed cheeks accenting her protruding cheekbones. Wyatt wouldn't have approved of her outfit, she thinks, but it's the best she can do with what she has. She thinks about going shopping for something more acceptable before remembering she has no money.

Aspen walks into the living room with two cups of hot coffee. "Want some?" he asks Austyn, already handing her a cup with black coffee. "I don't know how you drink your coffee, so I left it black. Good morning, by the way." His voice is still a bit hoarse from the lack of sleep, but he decides to ignore it.

Austyn nods, takes a sip and shrugs. Black is alright—she learned to like it over the years. 'Thank you,' she rasps. 'I don't—I don't think I can ever pay you back for any of this. I didn't even—I didn't even know if you—if you'd let me in.'

Aspen raises an eyebrow in surprise. 'Are you serious? What reason would I have to not let you in? You're my sister. Basically the only family I have left.' He sinks down on the couch, next to her. 'You were gone and I thought forever, of course I let you in.'

'I left you,' Austyn whispers. 'I left you all and then I just came back. You had no reason to trust me, to even consider letting me in without me explaining anything.'

Aspen shakes his head, keeps shaking his head. "I have every reason." He touches her hand. "You're my sister," he repeats.

Austyn nods slowly, pulling her hand back a bit so they aren't touching anymore and nods again.

Aspen notices the small movement, and even though it's barely a gesture, it still stabs him in the heart. He doesn't say anything about it, though. He just looks at her, studies her face, noticing too many things that make him sad and angry at the same time.
He scrapes his throat. "Look... I don't care what happened, alright? I'm—I want to know, sure. But I'm not going to—to push you into telling what shit you went through, or what reason you had to just disappear. You know I'm not that kind of a person." He shrugs. "You can stay here as long as you want, Austyn, I don't care."

Austyn nods again, gives Aspen a reassuring smile and then frowns. 'I don't have anything,' she tells him. 'I don't have money, or clothes, or a job or an education, or—'

Aspen tilts his head a little, giving her a reassuring smile. "I have money, don't worry about that. We can get you some clothes, it's fine. And that's all you need for now. One step at a time."

Austyn smiles. 'Thank you.'

Aspen finishes his coffee and gets up. "I'm going to make breakfast. You can um—you can bring the blankets and pillows in the guest room for now." He looks at her. "I'll call Alexis today. You know her, right? She can help you with the clothes."

'Thank you,' Austyn says again. The blanket she used is neatly folded beside her, pillow on top. She lays her hand on top of it.

Aspen leaves her, walking back to the kitchen, clutching the empty coffee mug in his hands. It's been ages since he felt so clueless as he feels now…
Silently he starts making sandwiches, putting them together on a plate. With a thousand thoughts still raging through his mind, he can't really concentrate. The fact Nate's shirt still smells like the boy doesn't really help either--he keeps thinking about tonight, about the regret and guilt he felt, about how Nate doesn't deserve to only be treated like someone Aspen fucks to forget. Nate is more than that. It's just that Aspen never thought it would be so hard to act upon it.

Austyn cleans the livingroom after she dumped the blanket in the guest room. She gives water to the bouquet of flowers on the table and wonders if Aspen bought them, or if he got them from someone. She realises that after all these years, she might not even know him at all.