hold me really tight (until the stars look big) - I

Mica laughs just as Tate comes down the stairs with some bags. 'What are we laughing about?'

Jael

She looks up. "Nothing important," she says hastily. She gets up to take over one of the bags for him. "Let's go...?" She looks back to Mica.

Mica gets up, winks at Tate and smiles. 'Yeah, sure. Two cars?'

Jael

She takes a deep breath. "Can't we--you know--go to my parent's house? I know they won't be at home tonight. It's tuesday, they always work late on tuesday. I want to pick up Polar." Her eyes shift to Tate, pleading.

Tate looks at Mica questioningly.
She shrugs.
He rolls his eyes. 'Alright. Be quick. If we're taking two cars, you have to go in alone, though.'

Jael

She nods. "I promise I'll be quick," she says, a smile crossing her face.
It's freezing outside as they go put the bags in the cars. Nervously Jael jumps from one foot to the other, waiting until they're ready to go.

ASR

Not much later and with a lot of directions from Jael, Tate and Mica park two blocks away from the house. 'Be quick, I'll be at the front door in ten minutes. Is your dog okay on the backseat?'

Jael

"Yeah, he is." She gives Tate a nervous smile and gets out of the car quickly. She rushes through the snow, her keys clamped in her hand. Once inside, she scrabbles a quick note:

I'm not dead, not kidnapped. Don't look for me. I'll visit you guys in a while, I just need some time for myself. I'm with friends, I'm okay. Took Polar, will come back for my other stuff.

Of course the dog is more than happy to see her. She has to do her best to keep him from barking until the whole neighborhood is awake. She puts him on his leash, takes the remaining dog food and some dog candy and his favorite blanket and drags him outside the door. Tate is waiting.

Sleepless

Tate waits in the car until Jael reaches it. Mica's Audi is parked at the far end of the streets, bright tail lights showing snowflakes, and he wonders if she's okay, if she's crying. Maybe they need to get away for a while, get her out of here. In his mind, he goes over the options.

Jael

She opens the back door and pushes Polar inside. "Wait up, I forgot something," she tells Tate before throwing the rest of the stuff on the back seat and running back inside to get her guitar. She needs her guitar and sheet music.

Tate sighs, groans an exasperated 'hurry up!' while eyeing the dog.

Jael

A few minutes later she comes running outside with her guitarbag and a map with sheet music. She puts the guitar carefully in the back seat and gets into the car. 'I'm done now,' she says, a bit out of breath, a slight smile crossing her face.

Tate sighs, more nervous than annoyed and pushes the gas pedal with force. When he gets close enough to the end of the street, Mica grins and speeds away. He can't help but laugh.

Jael

She smiles a little, looking back at the house once, then turns a bit in her chair to give Polar some attention. "He started barking so hard I was scared he'd alarm the neighbors," she admits to Tate.

Tate chuckles. 'He missed you,' he mumbles. 'Started whining when you went back into the house. By the way, is that--is that a guitar?'

Jael

She laughs. "He's really friendly, I think he'll like you. And yes, that's a guitar. Why?" She looks at him curiously. "Do you play?"

Tate shakes his head, amused. 'No, I don't. Mica does, though. She's been nagging me to learn to play something for years, wants to start a band and whatnot.' He rolls his eyes. 'She's going to love you.'

Jael

"Oh, that's..." She tries not to smile like a crazy idiot. "I also play the piano. And I sing, but I'm not—I'm not really good at it. I'd love to guitar battle with Mica, though. Does she play well?"

Tate grins. 'Mica is phenomenal. She plays drums, too, but she's still learning. Vince is--was teaching her. Before the... before he left.' He tries not to sound too proud. 'She sings alright.'

Jael

She looks at him. "That's amazing. She's such a sweetheart, though. I can't believe Vinnie just left her like that, I mean—who does that?" She stares ahead of herself, her fists clenched now.

Tate doesn't look at her, stops in front of the apartment building Mica's in and sighs. It's quiet, the dog in the backseat providing the only sound, when he says: 'Vinnie is complicated. He and Mica found each other when they were both in bad places. And they got out of it, but they have... they have a lot of shit. And a lot of problems to work through. And Vinnie wasn't ready, and Mica is, and maybe that's why he left, and maybe it was something else. On their first anniversary, they made a promise to leave if one of them was holding the other down from what they wanted. One time, Mica left when she felt like-'
Mica taps on the window and opens the passenger door. 'What is taking so long? Why aren't you getting out of the car?'

Jael

She doesn't answer, is pulled back to when she made promises and told herself pretty lies and hoped that they one day would come true and then she steps out of the car, not looking at Tate at all. She smiles at Mica and opens the back door to let Polar out. He barks enthusiastically and she tells him "Go say hello to Mica," and gets her guitar and the dog food. She takes a deep breath. "I hope he's not too much trouble. He can easily sleep in the kitchen, as long as he has his blanket to chew on."

Mica smiles and nods. 'It's alright. As long as the neighbours don't complain, he can stay.' Tate grabs their bags and walks towards the stairs.

Jael

She follows them with the leash in her one hand, the bag with dog food in the other and her guitar bag on her back. "Tate told me you play too," she says as they enter the building.

Mica's eyes glisten when she nods. 'I do, I do. I've been nagging Tate forever to learn something so we'd have something in common. I swear, besides liking books and cats, I don't think that guy and I have anything in common. I don't even know why we get along so well in the first place. He's an asshole and I'm obnoxious.'
'I'm not an asshole,' Tate simply says when he drops the bags in the hall. 'You are quite obnoxious, though.' He flashes her a smile. 'So, where do I need to put these bags?'
Mica looks a bit guilty when she speaks next. 'Okay, so don't get angry, but like... the only bed... that's still available... is the double bed in the guest room?' It comes out as a question. 'The couch in the living room kind of caved in and Tate I know how self destructive you are but I'm not allowing you to break your back on that thing.' She sighs. 'So... guest room. Two of you. Double bed...'

Jael

She stops petting and hugging Polar and stares up at Mica with eyes full of disbelief. She sits on her knees, Polar in her arms, speechless. "Um—" she starts, thinking of something to say, but something about that smug look on Mica's face says she did it on purpose.

Mica shrugs. 'I'm really sorry. I didn't think--yeah.'
Tate makes a face. He turns to Jael, says: 'take no offence to whatever I'm going to say now' and asks: 'Why can't you two share a room? You're both girls, you can... like... bond? Over guitars. And singing. And music in particular.'

Jael

She nods. "Yeah, why not? I think that's a very good idea." She smiles in agreement, still holding Polar close to her chest because hell, she missed her best buddy.

Mica closes her eyes and sighs and Tate groans, he knows that look. It's Mica's I'm-going-to-use-something-sad-that-happened-recently-to-get-what-I-want look, and Tate has seen enough of those looks to know what that means. He grabs the bags.
'I know... I know... But I just really--I just really want to be alone tonight. I mean--'

Jael

She lets Polar go and scrambles to her feet. She watches Tate go and gives Mica a look. 'Do you have anything to eat…?' she asks after a moment of silence. 'We ordered pizza but we forgot to wait…' A playful smile crosses her face. 'I tried to get Tate to help me cook, but that didn't work out well.' She decides then and there she's not going to care about the sleeping--after all, there's nothing about her and Tate, right? He did things. Bad things.

'There's some leftover chicken salad in the fridge. Help yourself,' Mica says, smiling.

Jael

"Thanks. And um... Anything I need to know about Tate sleeping...?" She gives Mica a tentative smile.

Mica shrugs. 'You'll see.'

Jael

"Oh no, no no no, I'm not going to 'see' what happens. Tell me," she says. "Or else I'll sleep on the couch or the kitchen floor for all I care." She's slowly starting to be herself again.

'It's not my shit to tell, alright?' Mica sneers. Then: 'I'm sorry. I'm going to bed.'
In the guest room, Tate steps into the en suite bathroom and turns on the water.

Jael

She swallows hard. 'I'm sorry,' she says, her voice a bit unstable. 'Sleep well, Mica. And thank you. For everything, today and all.' She smiles a bit and leaves Mica alone, going to the kitchen for some food.

Mica sighs, clenches and unclenches her fists and walks into the master bedroom. It smells like Vince's fragrance. She lies on her own side of the bed and doesn't cry.
Tate washes his hair. He thinks about how Jael doesn't have any female shower items and sighs. It's not that he doesn't enjoy a woman smelling like his shower products, but he isn't really into the the fact that she's absolutely not into him. He turns the water a bit hotter.

Jael

After she eats all the chicken and the salad—she was really, really hungry—she goes upstairs and goes through the bags in search of the pj's she bought that day with Mica.
She fixes Polar in the kitchen, leaving him with some food and water and his blanket and a thousand kisses and then goes upstairs to the guest room. It's not hard to find—Mica's apartment isn't as big as Tate's house.

Tate shuts off the shower and towels his hair dry quickly. He opens the bathroom door, cold air giving him goosebumps, fog escaping into the room. He has one hand holding the towel and the other on the doorknob when he freezes. Fuck.

Jael

She's in her bra and panties when Tate opens the door, an oversized T-shirt clenched in her hands. She stares at him, for a few horrible seconds not able to move. Don't look down don't look down don't look down don't look down don't— Her gaze shifts down, and then she exclaims a shaky 'oh my GOD' and she's out of the room within two seconds.

Tate goes bright red, grabs a pair of boxers and his sweatpants and hides in the bathroom.

Jael

She covers her face with her hands, her cheeks are burning. She sits on the floor just outside the guest room and waits for Tate to call her or whatever. She's put on the oversized shirt and pulled her bare legs to her body. The image of naked Tate keeps flashing before her closed eyes.

After Tate dresses himself, he steps out of the bathroom wearing only his underwear and the sweatpants hanging low on his hips. 'Jael?' he calls out. 'I'm--I'm decent. You can--uh--come in now.'

Jael

She opens the door and comes in a bit hesitantly. Her cheeks are still bright red and she's clenching the hem of the shirt in her hands. 'I didn't know you… um… did that.' She gives him a tentative smile.

Tate laughs. 'What, shower?'

Jael

She can't help but laugh too. 'No, asshole, coming out of the bathroom naked without any warning.' She sits down on the bed, trying to focus on his face instead of his disgustingly good-looking torso.

Tate grins, holds his hands up in a surrendering gesture. 'In my defence, I thought you were still with Mica.'

"She went to bed," Jael explains with a sad smile. "I parked Polar in the kitchen. I'm really tired, wanted to go to sleep too." Though she highly doubts she'll sleep tonight. Her eyes wander off, absentmindedly she scans Tate again, not even aware of it at all.

Tate watches her not-so-subtly checking him out and smirks. 'Do you want to shower first or are you one of those people who are enough of a morning person to be functional enough to shower in the mornings?'

"I showered this morning, yes." Jael pushes away the blankets. "Do you sleep like that?" she asks, referring to his bare chest, her cheeks flustering again.