hold me really tight (until the stars look big) - I

Jael

'Really? You don't know how to make it right?' Her voice is quivering. 'You could--oh, I don't know--let me go, maybe? Or let me call my parents because they're--they are--' She chokes on her words and falls silent, her breath shallow.

Tate

'If I let you go—' he stops, breathes in deeply. He can't lose himself, not now, not when so much is falling apart around him. Ever since she dies, Tate can’t stop thinking about gravity, about tectonic plates, about fog so thick you can’t see your own hands even when you're holding them right in front of your eyes. He thinks about his mother, about cigarette smoke and lonely days, about deserted islands, car crashes and how sometimes life crashes down around you like the remnants of a 747.
Right now, he thinks about echoes, about shaking hands and trembling voices and the way Macy used to sing Daughter’s run until her voice went hoarse.
He regains confidence, feels his lungs accept the oxygen, breathes: ‘If I let you go, you can tell other people what I’ve done—what I did, to that girl, to—to Tina. And with that, you will sign my death sentence. You will send people my way that will kill me, you will send people my way that will kill my family. Or what’s left of it.’

Jael

It's not a surprise to her. His words fuel her rage, though. Tears of frustration, anger, fear. She can't hold them back. 'And--and what about me?' Her voice cracked. 'What are you planning to do…? Keeping me here until God knows when…?' She breathes, but it doesn't work. She feels like someone is choking her. 'I'm so scared…' Her voice is nothing more than a faint whisper. She hides her tears by covering her face in her hands, leaning forward until her elbows touch the table. Her sobs are barely noticable.

Tate

'I know you're scared!' he yells, voice breaking. He slumps in his chair. 'I know you're scared. I'm scared too, Jael, because I'm taking you away from your family in a way close to how they took away Macy! I am so—sorry. I am so sorry...'

Jael

His harsh voice makes her flinch. She presses her arms against her chest and stares at him, her eyes full of tears. 'Don't… you ever ask yourself… what Macy would think of this, Hale…?' She prepares herself for him to get mad at her. 'Would you be as close to her as you were if she knew all this…?'

Tate

'Of course not!' There are tears. He ignores them. 'She would absolutely hate me. She already does hate me. The past months... she's done nothing but hate me. But I can't just—I can't just let her die and then do nothing. I can't just let it go because she hated me. I don't care if she hates me. I care about her. I love—I loved her. She was my baby sister, okay? She may hate me, she may have hated me, but I am avenging her death and that's all that matters.'

Jael

There aren't any words for her left to say. She can't breathe, she can't, she can't--
'Excuse me,' she chokes, then pushes back her chair and scrambles to her feet. For a slight moment she feels like she'll collapse, but then she stumbles towards the hallway to the stairs.

Tate

'God dammit!' he throws his plate against the wall. Sauce splashes like blood on white skin.

Jael

The sound echoes in her head. She stops at the door and turns, staring at him. 'Why do you always have to break something…?' Although it could, it doesn't sound judging. More like you-should-search-for-another-outlet-our-you'll-be-left-with-paper-plates-and-to-many-hearts-to-heal.

Tate

He sighs, sits down. 'I—just leave, Jael. Go to your—go to the guest room. Do whatever, just—just stay away from me for a while.'

Jael

She stands there contemplating on just ignoring what he says or obeying. She decides to do the last. 'I'm sorry,' she says, hoping that will calm him down a bit. And then she goes, closing the door behind her. Sleep. Again.

like 4 days????

Tate

He hears the clicking of her heels long before she actually appears in his eyesight. He holds in a sigh, drops the sponge on the floor and stares pained at the orange stain on the wall. Stupid pasta.
'I regret giving you a key!' he says loud enough for her to hear him.
She laughs when she enters the dining room. 'You don't. You're way too lazy to let me in.'
He lets out a pained grunt.
'Damn, Hale,' she says, staring at the wall. 'Did you kill someone?'
His head shoots up. How the fuck does she know these things?
'Oh my god—' Mica exclaims. 'Oh my god—you did? Who—what—why—Hale, fucking hell I was just kidding did you do it right here? Did you actually kill someone right here in your kitchen? Oh my god am I standing—'
'Mica! Calm down. This—this is a pasta stain. I threw my plate against the wall.'
'Oh...'
'Yes.'
'But you did kill someone.'
'Maybe.'
'Yes.'
'Yes.'
'How many?'
'One.'
'Is it one of the girls from the news?'
He raises an eyebrow. 'The news?'
'Yeah, those two girls that went missing? Trina, Tina and this other girl, Jana or Johanna or something—'
'Oh—yeah. One of those.'
'Why didn't you call me?'
'Call you? Why would I—'
'To hide the body, you dumbass! God, we could've bonded over this, like big time, Hale. Why don't you include me in the murder plot?'
'I didn't really—'
'It's Tina isn't it?'
'I—she—I um... Yeah. How'd you... how'd you know?'
'Last name matches the guy's last name. The Macy guy. I kind of figured. Didn't think you'd actually do it though, but then again I kind of thought you would, so—What'd you do with the other girl, then?'
'Jael?'
'Yes! That girl. Rich ass parents, or so I've heard. Was it the money?'
'No! No... She—she saw. So I kind of just, um, took her?'
'Is that a statement or a question?'
'Statement.'
'Is she alive?'
'Yes.'
'Where is she?'
'In the guest room.'
'You have your hostage in your guest room?! Hale, what the fuck. This is so not how this goes. You're so doing this wrong.'
'How the fuck am I doing this wrong? I didn't even—'
'Shut up. Make her come down. I want to meet this girl.'

Jael

The voices wake her up. She sits up straight, wonderinf what time it is. She's still wearing the clothes Hale gave her yesterday--or this morning--and she feels exactly how a person feels when sleeping in clothes.
Voices. There are voices downstairs. Hale's voice, and a girl's. She doesn't care to go see, though. She's been up in the guest room for two days, only coming down for breakfast lunch dinner and that's it.

Tate

He sighs deeply and gets up. 'I would ask you to help me clean this pasta stain, but I am noticing these newly manicured nails you almost have up my nose so your answer would be no anyway. I'll go get Jael.'
'Damn right, buddy.' She sits down at the table, nails ticking on her iPhone screen as she looks at him. 'Well?' she says, 'Go get her!'

He knocks on Jael's door a bit later. 'Jael?' he says. 'There's... there's someone I want you to meet.'

Jael

She doesn't answer, she just opens the door. She looks exhausted. Ever since she started to realize in what situation she got, she can't sleep, can't eat.
'Who is it?' she asks. She keeps her arms crossed, hugging herself as if she's cold. She follows Tate down the hall to the stairs.

Tate

'It's a friend of mine. She's—she's alright, don't worry. Her name's Mica. She's a bit... well, intense is the right word, I guess, so yeah, look out—for that I mean. Not that she's—not that she's—well... yeah... just—'
'Hale, stop scaring the girl by describing me in half-assed unfinished sentences.' Mica gets out of the chair, reaches out for Jael's hand and shakes it. 'Mica Mays,' she says. 'Best friend of this socially incapable bag of air right there. I promise I tried to teach him some manners.'

Jael

She's a bit overwhelmed. 'Hi…' Her gaze shifts to Hale, her eyes bearing a thousand questions.

Tate

She smiles reassuringly, white teeth flashing, and turns to Tate.
'First things first, you can't keep this girl locked up forever. She needs to get out of the house, so she needs a new look. I can call Vinnie to drop by some hair dye, and... god, honey, how long have you been walking in those clothes? Once we've taken care of your face, I'm taking you shopping—', she turns to Tate, points at him, '—on his expenses. The bastard has enough to provide a family for a goddamn lifetime, plus, he's the one that got you into this mess. It's the right thing to do.'
She doesn't wait for Jael to react, takes her phone and pushes a few buttons. There's a short 'babe' as a greeting from the other line, and Mica's face lights up at the sound of it.
'Hi babe,' she murmurs like a lovestruck teenager.
Tate groans. ('Shut up, Hale, you're every bit in love with Vinnie as I am.')
Vinnie says some things Tate can't make sense of when Mica starts talking rapidly, naming a list of things she needs. He asks himself if Jael is intimidated, scared or excited. He can't read her like he can with other people.
When Mica hangs up—('I love you too, Vinnie. I'll cook tonight, okay? Yeah. Okay. I love you—I love you. Bye babe.')—she shoots him a look.
He holds his hands up in surrender. 'Wasn't saying anything, Mays.'
'Of course you weren't, Hale,' she shoots back before turning to Jael. 'You ready for this?'

Jael

She needs some time to comprehend what is happening. 'I--' she starts, but then stops and takes a step back. Mica almost frightens her. She looks at Hale, again, not sure what to say. Then again, maybe that could be her escape plan. 'I'd love to,' she gives in. There's now a determined look in her eyes, now she knows she has a slight chance.

they were in the "dining room" and I've now turned it into "kitchen" because it's like a kitchen with the dining table in it so basically its a kitchen/dining room

Tate

'Good. Vinnie will be here soon,' Mica says before turning to Tate again. 'Shoo, asswipe. We need some girl-time. Don't you have anything to do?'
Tate grunts and walks out of the kitchen, leaving the two girls alone.

Jael

She sits down on a kitchen chair, still a bit overwhelmed and also filled with hope. Although she has too many questions, she stays silent. Mica clearly already decided what they're going to talk about.

Mica

'So,' she starts, leaning forward. Her elbows are on the glass table, her chin resting on her folded hands. 'Without that socially incapable dickhead around, tell me what's going on. Everything. Don't hold back.'

Jael

She shrugs. 'I'm homesick,' she mutters. And then there are tears again. 'I can't call my parents, or--email them, or write a letter, there is nothing--' She rubs her eyes. 'I can do nothing to let them know I'm alive.' In that moment she realizes how much she hates Hale, but there's still a little something inside her that cares for the broken young man who lost his sister, who lost every joy of living--
'I miss them so much,' she whispers, pressing her one hand against her eyes.

Mica

'Okay, parents, noted. We're going to do something about that. We're going to figure that out, okay? I don't know how, yet, but Vinnie—my boyfriend—knows a lot of people. They'll hear from you soon enough.' She taps her nails on the glass and bites on her lip. 'Anything else?'

Jael

She nods a bit and wipes away her tears. 'I just don't know how to act around him… I mean--' She takes a deep breath. 'I'm constantly on edge--so scared to either hurt him or myself and it's--it's just--' She shrugs again. 'I feel like I'm choking. I don't know how to do this.'

Mica

'Okay, first things first: Tate Hale is a lot of bark and no bite. That might sound a little weird because you're here because you saw him do a lot of bite, but honestly, he's not an unstable person. Not to you, anyway. I can see that. Believe me.' She shakes her head. 'Hale's not a bad person. He was just—really attached to Macy and her death kind of wore him out. Underneath the fucked up things that have been going on, he really is a good guy. So... You probably won't believe me anyway. But here comes from an epileptic girl whose medication made her look like shit all throughout high school and college—that guy protected me for a big part of my life and has been a great friend and a brother and all that sentimental shit that I'm not good at.' She takes a deep breath, nails ticking staccato. 'You're in a situation no one should be in, Jael. But believe me when I tell you this: It's going to be okay. You're going to get out of this and get home. You'll be okay.'

Jael

She takes another deep breath and manages a smile. 'I know he's not all bad… I know wrong people when I see them… Hale is not a wrong person, he's just--just wronged and as much as I want to--you know--see him as a bad person, I can't.' She shakes her head. 'I don't have siblings but I figured Macy means a lot more to him than just any other. Somehow I can--I can cope with what I saw as long as I think of that.'

Mica

She takes Jael's hand. 'Honey, you have no idea. Macy... Macy was complicated. A sweetheart, but complicated. And her past with Tate is just as complicated. That's something he'll have to tell you himself, but let me tell you: he is—was really attached to her. She—he helped her through a lot and she helped him through a lot. They were there for each other through everything. To get that ripped away from you because a guy was pissed and bored and sadistic...' She smiles sadly. 'You're a good person, Jael. And you don't want to be here, but he can really use someone who looks at him like you do. And you might not realise it, but he trusts you. Kind of. He looks like he's slept a bit. Tate... Tate never sleeps when someone he doesn't trust is in the house.'

Jael

She shakes her head again. 'Does he, really? I--He makes me feel like everything I do somehow hurts him or offends him.' She heaves a sigh and drops her hands in her lap. 'And I don't want to.'

Mica

'Darling, that's just his default setting. He acts like everything is physically and emotionally hurting him. He's done that for years before I met him. But let me tell you this: We went to the zoo once with his nephew, Isaac—you probably don't know him, it's Tate's brother Mason's oldest kid. Anyway, he asked me, because Isaac was like, one and a half and the guy was scared shitless because he had no idea what to bring and what do do around a kid that age. And when we got there, he showed the kid everything. And honestly, Hale was more excited to see the animals than Isaac was. Afterwards, when Mason asked how it went, he shrugged and said: "It was okay."
Tate's defence mechanism is acting like nothing affects him, ever. Don't let that fool you. He's a softie.'

Jael

It takes a minute for her to take that in. 'So--I should just act normal…?' she asks, clasping her hands together in her lap. She's sitting there back straight on the chair. It's clear she's tense and tired, she looks like a miscaged bird.

Mica

'Try and make yourself comfortable, okay? That's how—'
Her rambles were interrupted by the doorbell ringing and Mica jumped up straight. Sending Jael a kind of apologetic smile, she all but ran to the door.
'You are my saviour, you know that?'

Jael

She stays in the kitchen and rubs her eyes getting rid of the tears. She glances towards the living room and wonders where Hale is, and then Mica comes in with a guy and she has to look twice.

YES WITH ALL THE TATTOOS.

Mica

Vinnie drops a plastic bag of supplies on the glass table and kisses Mica hello in the middle of the kitchen. Tate enters, hugs the guy and smiles.
'My favourite people...' he cheers cheekily, before turning to Jael. 'And what do we have here?'

Jael

She scrambles to her feet. 'Um--I'm Jael.' She reaches out her hand and smiles awkwardly, a bit overwhelmed by his appearance. Hale is in the kitchen again, though, and that makes her feel better for some reason.

Tate

'Vincent Brass,' Vinnie says, taking her hand and taking a bow. He has a charming smile. 'Friends call me Vinnie, though, and you, my lady—'
'Vince,' Mica chastises, 'stop scaring the girl, you're making her uncomfortable.'
Vinnie's eyebrows shoot up. He brings his hand to his chest, fingers spread. 'Uncomfortable?' he mockingly whines. 'You wound me, Mica.'
'Oh shut up, asshole.' (But she's smiling. And Tate smiles too because it's impossible not to feel something when his best friend is that happy.)
It's sickeningly cute, they're sickeningly cute, but he's used to it. To the way Vinnie changes from sarcastic dick to lovestruck teenager in 0.37 seconds. To the way Mica swoons when he smiles.
God, they're so in love it makes Tate wants to help children in Africa. Or take in strays. It's alarming.
'Now shoo,' Mica mumbles after a make-out session neither he or Jael had asked for. Vinnie kisses her once more and steps towards Jael, but Tate steps in front of her without thinking about it. The boy backs off.
'Sorry, man,' Vince says. 'I get it, your girl.'
He's already gone when Tate has the chance to mumble 'not my girl...'
Mica shoots him an unimpressed look.

Jael

She's too struck with surprise to say anything. Her heart skips a beat when Tate steps forward. A warm blush creeps up her cheeks. 'He's… intense,' she manages to say. Her voice is a bit unstable, but to cover it up she acts like she's extremely interested about the color of the hairdye. She casually takes a look in the bag to see what's in it.

Mica (and kind of Tate too, honestly)

'Honey, you're going blonde,' Mica says while carefully getting a 10 Scandinavia box out of the bag. There's a blonde woman on the front. '10 Scandinavia Very Light Blonde, to be exact.' She pulls some garbage bags over the dining chair and guides Jael onto it. She turns to Tate. 'You, my friend, have to be very thankful right now. Also, this so pays back the 300 bucks I still owe you. Big time, baby.'
Tate sighs, says: 'you wouldn't have paid it back anyway.', but smiles guiltily when Mica hits him on the head and rolls her eyes. 'As if you'd have let me, asshole. Remember the groceries? And the accident? And the car accident oh my god you paid like nineteen thousand quid and you didn't even let me buy you chocolate as a thank you.'
'Hey!' Tate interrupts. 'I did let you get me chocolate. I didn't throw it out when you sneakily left it in my bedroom, Mica. I ate it.'
'Asshole,' she mutters again, but she's smiling. She turns to Jael. 'Honey, when have you last washed your hair?'

Jael

She can't help but laugh a bit when she hears the conversation between Mica and Tate. Much to her surprise, Tate becomes more and more human. He even smiles! And good lord, a smile fits him so well she has to keep herself from staring all the time.
Then she realizes what Mica actually is saying. 'Wait--are you saying Hale paid nineteen thousand dollar for you and didn't let you pay him back…?' Her gaze shifts from Mica to Hale, her eyes full of disbelief. She can barely believe he'd be that generous--but thn again, this house would be big enough to fit a family with seven kids and two dogs.

Mica and Tate
(honestly i'm just gonna go with Hays bc shipname)

Mica nods frantically, looking as if she still doesn't really believe it.
'It was nothing...' Tate tries to brush it off. 'She needed it and I just provided. It was nothing.'
Mica rolls her eyes. 'Oh shut up, Hale. You always do this--act like all you do good is nothing special. Even this girl sees it and you're her kidnapper, basically.' She mixes the hairdye and starts applying it to the brown hair in front of her.

Jael

Right--He kidnapped her. Her gaze shifts away from Hale, as if she remembers again that he's the wrong guy to be with.
He just provided… She remembers Mason saying something like that and is ripped back to the first day for a slight moment, until Mica's delicate finngers start massaging the dye in her hair. She gets nervous. 'Are you sure the color will look good on me…?' Her voice is a little bit unstable. She's never dyed her hair before, because she loved the chocolate brown locks.

Hays

'I'm certain,' she says, a bit strained. She noticed the change in atmosphere and knows it's her fault. Tate lays his warm hand on the back of her neck and squeezes an it's okay into her skin. She breathes out. 'So...' she says. 'Well...'
'Did you bring your pills?' Tate interrupts.
She blushes. 'I... um...'
He rolls his eyes. 'So many years, Mica. It's been more than a decade. You were like eight. That's like a thousand years ago.' He places pills in front of her and goes to fill a glass of water.
'Saviour,' Mica says.
Tate grins. 'Don't I know it.'
He puts a glass of water in front of Jael too. 'You, um, have to stay hydrated?' It comes out more as a question. He's never been good at admitting to taking care of people.
Mica laughs in his face.
He flips her the bird.

Jael

She takes a sip, only then realizing she was thirsty. Quietly she glances at Hale and bites her lower lip. It's like he's a different person, and she doesn't know what to think of that.

[for the sake of this story the way hair gets dyed is altered i guess? you said mica used her fingers, while you use equipment, and i made mica dye the hair blonde without bleaching it first. whoops]

Hays
'Don't be a bitch if I'm the one with the in-case-you-forget-them-again pills,' he simply says to Mica. He gives Jael a near genuine smile.

yeah, fuck logic for once xd. i never use dye, so it's a little bit my fault too.

Jael

She smiles back automatically, a bit nervous still. While normally she chats away, she's really quiet now. Although Mica's a sweetheart and Hale seems more relaxed around her, she still doesn't really trust the situation.
'How long have Vinnie and you been together?' she asks to break her own silence.

I dye my hair regularly but I wasn't really thinking ahah

Hays

Mica's face breaks out in a proud, lovestruck smile. Tate makes gagging sounds. 'Almost five years now.'

Jael

'Oh…' She smiles a bit. 'He seems really sweet.' She can't help but give Hale a look, her eyes having a strange twinkle.

Hays


Mica smiles sweetly. 'Yeah, he is. He looks a bit... different... and that intimidates people sometimes but he's... he's great. And good to me. So yeah.'
Tate winks at Jael, but when Mica says he treats her well, he can't help but smile a little.

Jael

'That's… wonderful, really.' She knows like no other what it is to be treated like trash by a guy. Ex-boyfriends to spare.
She shifts her gaze away from Hale and looks at her clenched fingers.

Hays

Tate can't help but look at her clenched fists. He wants to do something, to say something, but he can't. Mica nods with pursed lips and hums a tune.